Saturday, October 06, 2012

i'm so sorry for making you feel neglected all this time :'(

'please give me a chance. i promise you that i ll change' aku ingat lagi. arwah pernah tulis dekat kertas masa kelas gabung pad190 awal sem. as usual, si gedik fydo ni mesti duduk sebelah aku in every class. masa 190 class malam ni, macam biasa lah, kalau kitorang tak focus, kertas jadi mangsa luahan hati kitorang tengok lah. kalau korang bertuah, korang lah jadi mangsa luahan hati kitorang haha kay aku mmg jahat -.- hihi 

macam ni ceritanya, tulis punya tulis tetiba fydo tulis mcm ni '<dear ss> im so sad right now. you ve changed a lot ss. im so sad' then aku replied 'no i'm not, u re the one who ve changed. not me' then dia reply 'apa yg berubah dekat i?' then coldly aku reply 'go figure, i dnt even recognize u anymore' then dia tulis 'what have i done? im so sorry, please tell me. im so sad right now'  then aku tak ingat aku tulis apa then dia reply 'please give me a chance. i promise you that i ll change' then coldly again i replied 'if you wanna change, it s up to u, u don't have to promised me anything cause i don't expect anything from u' 

masa dia tengah tulis tu aku terdengar something yg aku tak pernah sangka akan dengar dari dia. dalam hati aku 'he s crying' then aku pandang dia. yup, he s crying. he s wiping his tears, holding his nose. dalam hati aku 'dia betul betul ikhlas. tapi lantak dia lah, bukannya aku ni penting sangat pun utk dia nak berubah kan? diri dia, kalau dia berubah dia berubah, kalau tak, takpe' then aku pun reply ' it s up to u' lagi lah dia 'farah, jangan macam ni. im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry........................ :( :( banyak gila dia tulis sorry sampai penuh satu page' but i just replied 'as i said just now, it s up to u' ya Allah kenapa lah aku kejam sangat dengan kau masa tu? aku ingat yg kau selalu cakap kau sedih sebab aku ignore kau. truth be told, i don' have any intention to ignore you at all. im so sorry if u ever feel like that. i never get the chance to tell you that im not ignoring you. i never get the chance to say sorry :'( 

aku ingat tiap kali kita jumpa, kau mesti text 'im happy to see you faraa <-- without 'h' sebab kau cakap kau suka panggil aku faraa kononnya manja -.-' haha ya Allah semua pasal kau aku terimbau ni. tak tahu nak mula dari mana. aku ingat masa kita gaduh masa bulan 8. tak silap aku 6/8/12. semua tu salah faham fydo. kau salah faham and once again, i never get the chance to tell you the truth brother :'( im so sad bcause why do we ve to pick up the fight because of the stupid lil misunderstanding? if only u know the truth, we won't be like that and everything will be just fine. tapi ramai yg cakap baru baru ni 'ni lah tandanya arwah nak pergi farah, arwah gaduh dengan hang, arwah taknak hang sedih. cuba bayangkan kalau arwah tak gaduh dgn hang and hang rapat dgn dia tetiba dia 'pergi' tinggalkan hang, mesti hang lagi sedih' ya Allah, tiap kali bila aku teringat benda ni, sebak rasa hati ni. aku bersyukur sangat, kitorang sempat berbaik before dia pergi. even though kitorang jarang lepak sama dah lepastu aku tau yg dia happy bila dapat borak dengan aku. 

aku ingat lagi masa class account dia cakap 'lama tak borak dgn hang, seronoknya dapat duduk dengan hang. banyak cerita aku kumpul utk hang' tapi tak cukup masa untuk dia cerita semua tu kat aku :'( im so sorry fydo :'( for you guys information, currently im not listening to #my all by mariah carey, #set fire to the rain by adele, #one and only by adele, senang cerita im not listening to adele's song cause he s in love with adele and of course im not listening to one direction's songs. semua ni lagu favourite dia :')

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